When Things Are Never Good Enough: The Link Between Anxiety & Perfectionism

We all have expectations of how things are meant to be. This is the driving force behind change and personal growth. It's what keeps us motivated to keep striving on, no matter the circumstances.

Of course, it doesn't seem possible that such expectations are harmful. However, not being able to manage and keep our own expectations realistic can sometimes be a problem. In addition, living up to the standards that society and the people in our lives make can sometimes be problematic. It often leads to needing everything to be perfect.

Perfectionism is something that many people deal with. It's the supposition that life should turn out exactly as we expect. Essentially, everything needs to be "good enough," or better.

It's the fine balance between wanting to be our best selves and feeling disappointed when we are not.

Still, after all is said and done, mistakes are a part of life. Yet, for those who have a perfectionist personality, mistakes can be devastating. So, what exactly is the connection between perfectionism and anxiety?

Anxiety And Perfectionism Are Strongly Linked

On the surface, perfectionists have it all together. They aim for the highest mountains and don't stop until they get there and the flag is planted just so. But, this isn't always a good thing.

The link between anxiety and perfectionism is complicated. After all, each can lead to the other and fuel the other. There is no exact cause for why perfectionism leads to anxiety; just as there is no reasoning behind anxiety-causing perfectionism.

Constantly searching for perfectionism leads to unhealthy ways of coping with stress and anxiety. Likewise, anxiety further compels the pursuit of perfectionism, when it can prevent you from achieving anything at all.

Anxiety Does Not Help Procrastination

The risk of being wrong, or making mistakes, often leads a perfectionist to feel extremely anxious. They may become mentally or physically exhausted.  Feeling anxious is like spinning in circles, not being able to stop or slow down. You feel overwhelmed about everything you need to get done, that you don't.

Where do I start? How do I start? What happens when you can't answer any of those questions? You feel let down, disappointed by not knowing how to live up to your own standards.

The struggle does not end after a certain task is completed with success. Even if it turns out perfectly or to your standards, perfectionism and anxiety work hand in hand to target the next thing. It's a cycle that never really ends or gives relief.

What Contributes To Perfectionism And Anxiety?

For every individual person, this can be very different. For some, the fear of being judged is a driving factor to always wanting to be perfect. This, in turn, leads to anxiety.

"Am I good enough? Am I doing enough?" intrude on their thoughts. The fear of not being able to live up to others' expectations can be a driving force behind perfectionism and anxiety.

Additionally, someone who is a perfectionist may worry about all of the ways they could make a mistake. Instead of giving themselves the grace to understand that they are only human, they set very high standards for themselves. Trying to achieve the next best thing for yourself, isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's what has led to the greatest inventions and achievements in human history. But that doesn't mean it is always a positive thing.

Truthfully, high standards can have very damaging consequences on a person's mental health. If you feel as if you don't meet others' or your own expectations, you can feel like a failure. Causing you to feel anxious, depressed, and all-around just not your best self.

How To Balance Perfectionism And Anxiety

Similar to everything else in life, it's a balancing act. Learning effective mindfulness and coping skills to deal with anxiety is a great start. There are many techniques for learning how to keep anxiety at bay, including breathing techniques.

Anxiety therapy is a powerful way to lessen symptoms caused by perfectionism. Reach out to our office today to learn how we can help you strive for your best and keep your mental health in check.