Hurt By Your Church? How to Start Recovering

For those who have faith, the church is often the first place you turn to. Many people will turn to their pastors, elders, or other members when things get tough. Sometimes, this can be a very positive experience. On the other hand, some people do have a negative experience.

These negative experiences can range anywhere from misunderstandings to intentional abuse. Unfortunately, these bad experiences can leave people feeling hurt by the church. As such, they may not want to ever go back. To that church, or any.

The emotional pain that comes from being hurt by someplace where you should feel safe is heartbreaking. It can break your trust and cause a wavering doubt in your faith. When there is such a strong emotional pain, it can seem as if it is a reflection of the world around us. Of how bad things can really seem.

Trying to erase the memory of your experience is a lot harder than it seems. In fact, that may not really even help you in the long run. We are sorry that you have been hurt by the church. But, we want you to know that healing and recovery are possible. Here are some tips for moving forward.

Your Emotions Are Valid - Accept Them

One of the biggest struggles is when you question your own emotions and feelings surrounding an event. "Am I overreacting? Is this not that big of a deal? Did I read the situation wrongly?"

First, know that your emotions are valid. If something hurts you or bothers you about a situation, you aren't being dramatic or oversensitive. Never doubt or question whether or not that "should" be true or not. If it matters to you, then it matters. Period.

In order to even begin the process of healing, you first have to accept your emotions. Why? Accepting your emotions surrounding any event means you aren't ignoring or burying them. You aren't denying yourself the emotions that come with life and relationship. Denying your emotions often leads to just ignoring the memory or unproductive coping behaviors. None of which help you overcome the pain.

Perspective Is Everything

How often do we focus so much on the negative? It is so common to ruminate and let the anger grow internally. We let it consume our thoughts and actions.

Focusing on perspective does not mean that the situation is ok. It doesn't mean that what happened to you was permissible. But when you have gone through something traumatic or negative, especially with those you once trusted, that seems impossible.

Instead of focusing on the negativity of the event itself, think of the positives afterwards. What did you learn from it? Did you learn that not everyone can be trusted with your personal information about your life? Maybe you discovered that there are just some people in life who will never be happy. Or maybe you came to the realization that you can't control others actions, only your own and how you respond to them. And, maybe you understood that at the end of it all, only God can make an awful wrong right.

Shifting your focus on positive truths, rather than the negative experience, can help you heal.

You Can Still Trust Others

It's hard to know who to trust in life. Sometimes, we learn this lesson the hard way. But, that does not mean that everyone in life you will encounter is untrustworthy. Or that they will eventually hurt you. How guarded do our hearts become when we experience something so negative? How do these walls we put up impact our ability to love, be loved, and show grace to ourselves?

Recovering from hurt done by the church, in any capacity, is hard. It often shakes our faith and our belief in the power of connection we have with other people. It doesn't have to stay that way. By speaking with a Christian counselor, you can talk to someone who empathizes. We get the emotional turmoil of what you experienced. We want to help you better understand God's plan for your life.

To find the positives in your negative situations, please read more about Christian Counseling and reach out today, we would be honored to support you on this path.