Improving Boundary Setting; Family Therapy, and Mental Health
You may have heard of the concept of what a boundary is in the media. Some people aware of the word despise it and misunderstand the meaning behind it. This article will dive more into what it means to set boundaries with others in your life and why it is so important to have them. Boundaries done right have the purpose of being able to show up for our family, friends, and career without compromising mental health. Boundaries are meant to keep people in our lives and not push them away.
1.) Respectful Start Ups
When you are able to recognize that a boundary needs to be set, it's important to be respectful and understanding to those that will be involved. The person that you are explaining the boundary to may not understand at first where you are coming from and your intention surrounding setting boundaries. Meet the person where they are at with what they may or may not understand. When starting a discussion surrounding why you are setting boundaries use some gentle start ups. An example of this would be using “I” statements, using nonjudgmental/blaming language, and giving appreciation for the other person hearing you in what you are asking. A lot of misunderstanding can happen when a boundary is brought up with poor communication.
2.) Be Assertive and Direct
When you are setting boundaries and being respectful/considerate to the person that you are setting a boundary with also be direct. If you seem unsure when you are setting the boundary, it may give the other person that you are talking to chances to try to talk you out of it. If the person isn't understanding or respecting you while you are being considerate of how they may be feeling then it's okay to be more direct and firm. You are not responsible for them not understanding if you make every effort to meet them where they are at. Be true to yourself and true to your needs.
3.) Practice
One of the reasons why people are reluctant to set boundaries is due to not knowing where to start or what to say. The best way to feel more comfortable and prepared is to practice how to start conversations. This can be done with a trusted friend/ family member and in front of a mirror. When you have more of an outline of how you want to go about the conversation then there will also be an increase in confidence when it comes time to set it. Conversing with a mental health counselor can also be very helpful and recommended in how to go about effectively setting boundaries. A counselor is a third party individual and can help assist individuals to see different perspectives on how to effectively set boundaries. It also might feel better for some to not involve family or friends in plans of boundary setting.
5.) Be Kind To Yourself
Setting boundaries can be very difficult especially when you are doing so with an important person in your life. Be sure to take care of yourself and not be too hard on yourself in the process. It is admirable that you are taking the necessary steps in setting boundaries not only for yourself but also for loved ones in your life that would also benefit from having it in place. It's great that you are taking this step and following through even with it not being easy.
Are you interested in learning more about how you can set boundaries in your life? Do you feel exhausted with trying to manage boundaries while also suffering from anxiety or depression? Here at Inward Counseling we may be able to assist you. Reach out to us today.
Click here for more information on depression therapy.