Guide on Supporting a Friend/Family Member with Depression

Someone you care about you may have found out recently or some time ago that they have depression. Maybe you yourself are familiar with what depression is, but struggle to know how to help someone and support someone who has it. This blog is not all inclusive, but it might help you to navigate through some of the questions that you have about supporting someone with depression. This blog will discuss things that support someone who has depression and some things that also aren't as supportive with someone who has depression. Please note if someone you care about expresses that they have suicidal ideations, it is important to get them connected to crisis resources. A trained mental health professional can assist in crisis situations that your loved one might be facing. If you have this crisis concern you or the person that you know suffering can call or text the number 988 to get connected to crisis support.  

1.)  Listen to Hear and Not Fix

Those that have depression sometimes will not reach out and discuss what is on their mind because they have feelings of being a burden on others. If a friend comes to you with struggles that they are facing with depression that is a huge step for them. When this friend or family member speaks with you, you could feel inclined to offer solutions to their problem. While it is upsetting to see our loved ones go through symptoms of depression, it may not be best to offer up advice right away. Instead, ask this individual what they are asking for from having discussions and a conversation with you. You can do this by asking them if they are looking for advice at this time or if they are just wanting someone to listen to them and sit with them. Sometimes sitting and listening with someone you care about that has depression is greater than any advice you could give in any specific moment.

2.)  Acknowledge and Don't Minimize: 

Another important piece to listening and having discussion includes how you are responding. Even if you don't necessarily agree with what your friend is telling you, it is critical that you do not show judgment to their experience. Trying to diffuse the situation by saying things like “You should hear about my problem then you might feel better about how you feel.” Won’t help them in their experience. Instead discrediting them will make them less likely to reach out to you and others in general. You might have the best intentions at heart by telling them that the problem they are facing is not that bad, but to them it might sound like they are not feeling heard. Instead validate and show your support for them in what they are facing.

3.)  Suggest Helping To Find Them Support:

As a family member or friend there is only so much you can do to support a loved one with depression symptoms. If you find yourself wanting to get them the support that they need but don't know how to go about it, that can be challenging. There is still a stigma still out there surrounding therapy and it can feel intimidating to go see someone when you're struggling. Normalizing therapy can be so beneficial to those that are reluctant about it. If someone you care about is struggling with depression and they are looking for that support we have therapists here at Inward Counseling that can assist. Please reach out to us to see if we can help.

Click here for more on Depression Therapy.