Valentines Day Coping With Sadness & Loss
Valentine's Day can be a holiday that is celebrated with your significant other or friends. However, it can also be a holiday that brings up some grief if you have lost a loved one that you used to celebrate the holiday with. It can also bring up sadness if you don’t feel like you have someone that you can celebrate the holiday with. There can be societal pressures associated with the holiday as well and people may ask well meaning questions about how you will celebrate Valentine's day when you don't know. The article will provide some tips on how to handle loss, sadness, and other emotions that come with Valentine's Day.
1.) Acknowledge Your Feelings Instead of Pushing away
Instead of trying to push away or distract away from how you are feeling, acknowledge where you are at with the holiday. If you feel like you need support in talking to someone, or to just be by yourself that is okay. What might be more harmful is allowing shame to take over in how we are feeling. When we stop avoiding how we are feeling we can start to be more authentic and get what we really are needing. At first feeling our feelings can be uncomfortable, but after allowing ourselves to in the end it helps in healing.
2.) Do What Feels Best
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to cope with how you are feeling, as long as it's not harming yourself or others. If you feel like you need to be by yourself at home on Valentines Day and binge watch movies that is okay. When you have a self-care activity in mind to help you cope, what matters is what value you will get out of doing it. The intention of the activity should be that it will help you to “fill up” your own cup. If you engage in an activity that makes you feel worse at the end of it then rethink what would work better for you.
3.) Shift The Perspective
Society might say to celebrate Valentine's Day we must spend money on our significant other, or go out on an expensive date with them. The premise of Valentine's Day involves giving and/or receiving love to or by someone. There are a wide range of ways in which that can be done outside of just gift giving. Volunteering and showing love to your local community could be another way that you show love this Valentine's Day. You don't have to just give gifts for the holiday to be meaningful.
4.) Limit Social Media Usage
Social media already is a space where a skewed view of reality is shown. On Valentine's Day images of how other people are feeling and celebrating will also be skewed. Be cognizant of the images and information that you are taking in and how it makes you feel. No one on Valentines Day on social media will describe the struggles and tribulations that they have gone through in their relationships. Also keep in mind that some people will lie to get “likes” and other means of praise or admiration from social media. If you find yourself comparing and feeling in competition with others that you are seeing on social media, then it might be a good reason to stay away for sometime.
If you are looking for more support and help with feelings of sadness, loss, and depression we here at Inward Counseling can help. We are a team of therapists that are here to help you through whatever challenges you may be experiencing. Reach out to us today to see how we can help.
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