What Is Emotional Infidelity?
When most people hear the word infidelity - they will automatically think of physical cheating. Infidelity is most commonly thought of when there was an affair with someone who is not your partner or spouse.
Cheating is a concept that has evolved to include more than just physically cheating on someone. In fact, because non-monogamous relationships have become more accepted, the perception of infidelity has shifted too.
It can be surprising to hear, but there is such a thing as emotional infidelity. But, what exactly is emotional infidelity?
What Is Emotional Infidelity
Sometimes, what each partner considers to be cheating can vary. For most couples, what constitutes cheating often involves some sort of betrayal of trust and boundaries. For instance, one couple may think that flirting is a sign of infidelity or betrayal. Whereas another couple might consider infidelity as "checking" other people out. And even still, some will only see an act as cheating if there was a sexual affair.
The exact definition of cheating is so varied and will look different with virtually every couple. What many people do not realize is that you can be emotionally cheating on your partner, as well.
When someone is committing emotional infidelity, it is when they are creating a strong emotional bond with another person. It doesn't always have to involve sexual or physical acts, either.
Signs Of Emotional Infidelity
There are many signs of what emotional infidelity can look like. These can include:
You tell this other person things that you do not tell your partner
Thinking about the other person a lot
Feeling validated or seen more by this other person than your partner
You do not share details about this other person with your partner, if they even know about them - thus, keeping it a secret
You constantly compare your partner with this person
This is not an exhaustive list, but these are definitely the more common signs of emotional infidelity.
Independence Does Not Equal Secrets
It's important to know that there is a difference between being independent and being secretive from your current partner.
Having independence from one another is important and a sign of a healthy relationship. You know how to be apart from one another and make decisions on your own without being co-dependent. However, you should familiarize yourself with any of the signs above if you think that you could be emotionally cheating on your partner.
Maybe you think that this other person in your life is just a good friend. And that very well could be the case. There is nothing wrong with having friends who you are close with or share a bond with. But, if you find that you recognize quite a few of these signs within yourself, it may be time to reconsider your priorities or what you want out of your current relationship.
Even if you never meant to gain a closeness like this with another person, it can definitely still harm your current relationship.
How To Move On From Emotional Infidelity
If you feel as if you could be emotionally cheating, you don't have to go into a complete panic mode. Even if, in some ways, you did turn to another person for emotional support, that doesn't mean your current relationship is hopeless.
There is always hope to move forward and past emotional infidelity. One of the best ways through this is with couples counseling.
Couples counseling can help you get to the root of why you began this journey with another person and how you got to this place. It may be a hard truth that you just aren't happy with the way your current relationship is going. But whatever the reasons may be, it's time to get honest with yourself.
If you are not ready to attend couples counseling, we invite you to schedule a consultation so we can help you find the best foot forward for all who are involved.
