Are These Relationship Patterns Undermining Your Relationship
Relationships are challenging to navigate. There always seems to be something that can wreak havoc on you and your partner's happiness. And that is just considering outside sources from the relationship. Household duties, careers, children, and social obligations can all cause interference and conflict within a relationship.
Then, when you consider the internal conflicts, breakdowns in communication, and disconnect - well, no wonder why relationships can feel so messy at times.
In every relationship, there is an ebb and flow. You are both constantly shifting who you are as individuals and as a couple. However, there are certain patterns that can occur in relationships that can undermine the relationship and cause conflict. Here are just a few of the most common ones.
Too Clingy Or Ignoring All Together
Arguments in relationships are normal. Every couple, at some point, will inevitably argue about something. When arguments are handled well, it can bring strength and understanding to each partner. However, there are certain patterns that do more harm than good.
Typically, couples will fulfill two roles during an argument - one will either revert to the silent treatment and the other will feel as if they need to talk things through right away.
In relationships, we often go into conflict with the idea that "If they loved me, they would try to work things out the way I want to."
Instead of looking at conflict as something they need to do, work on trying to resolve conflict in the way both of you need to. If they need time to themselves, but you want to talk, compromise. Agree to give each other space after x amount of time. Then, pick it back up after that.
Blaming Each Other
Does it seem as if it is always the other person's fault? They caused the argument. It's their fault that something happened the way they did. But never your own?
In some cases, your partner's actions may have indeed been the cause of an argument. However, when things escalate, it may be true that you are both to blame.
Blame is one of the most toxic ways a relationship can be undermined. Because it places fault on the other while not taking personal responsibility.
Talking To Everyone But Each Other About Problems
In periods of turbulence, do you find that you are more willing to turn to your friends to vent? Is it common for you to discuss your problems with everyone but one another?
This is another pattern than can undermine the health of your relationship. Turning to everyone else, but away from each other to discuss problems, just causes harm and distrust. This can also add unnecessary tension to your friendships and any other relationships that hold your confidence.
Hiding Your Emotions
We all bottle up our feelings at times. It's basically embedded into our DNA to self-protect and hide how we truly feel. In part, we do this because we don't want to burden others with our emotions or problems.
Be careful not to hide your true feelings from yourself and from your partner. It may be hard to discuss certain issues, especially if you feel as if it will hurt the other person. This can be a serious sign of a massive breakdown in communication that won't be resolved as easily. If you can't be honest with your partner, it may be time to consider extra support.
When you are trying to navigate life and your relationship, it can sometimes feel especially challenging and daunting. Particularly when any of the above relationship patterns come into play. If you recognize any of these patterns in your relationship, it may be time to ask for some extra support through the help of a couples counselor.
We are here to help guide you back to a healthier relationship. Please read more about couples counseling. Then, please reach out for a consultation soon.