Couples Therapy: Increasing Confidence in Your Relationship

Whether you have been in a relationship for a few months to years, it is normal to experience a lack of confidence in how your relationship is doing. We have so many comparisons around us in today's society with the presence of social media. We can get consumed by others around us and the news updates on different relationships. With this information there also comes a misconstrued image of what a relationship “should” look like. This article today will help shed a light on what's healthy in relationships and what you can do if you feel your confidence decreasing in your own relationship.

Limit Access to Announcements from Social Media

As mentioned above we can get a misconception of how well our relationship is by looking at other couples on social media. Social media outlets tend to be a place where people like to give updates on what is going on that is well in their relationships. You rarely see people post when they are having conflicts or fights in a relationship. This doesn't mean that sharing positive experiences on social media is a bad thing, but it does mean that there is usually more to the story that isn't being shared. People can create fronts of how their life is going through social media that isn't accurate or factual to what is really happening. If you find yourself feeling “frustrated”, “annoyed”, or “jealous” after scrolling through your feed, that is something important to recognize. Stay attuned to how you feel before and after engaging in social media. If you are finding yourself feeling worse after being on social media then it's important to filter out some content that you are exposing yourself to that is not of benefit to your well being. 

Evaluate your boundaries or lack of boundaries in the relationship

Maybe you are feeling less confident in yourself in regard to your relationship because of your attachment in the relationship. When we feel less secure in our relationship that might be indicative of an anxious attachment. As a result of our attachment we neglect our own needs and boundaries for the relationship. The less we acknowledge ourselves in relation to the relationship, the less confident we feel that it can continue to be a long term commitment. When we feel less confident and in return try to meet all of our partners' needs and neglect our own, that is a recipe for a lack of intimacy in the relationship. In order to build and maintain a relationship intimacy emotionally, and physically need to be present. It is important to recognize our own needs and boundaries in our relationship to maintain a healthy and secure relationship.

 Create more present moments together to build on intimacy

Create more positive memories together by doing more fun activities that bring you both to the present moment. It is important to engage in activities that both you and your partner enjoy doing together. Building on positive experiences builds on confidence in the relationship. When you are both engaged in date night you are focused on the present moment rather than on the past or the possible future. Stay in the here and now when you start a new activity with your partner.

Are you looking for help or another perspective on what can help your relationship? Here at Inward Counseling we can help to strengthen your connection to your partner. Reach out to us today to see if we can help you with concerns in your relationship. We look forward to hearing from you.

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