Self-compassion for anxiety and depression: Getting support from others but also supporting yourself

Having anxiety and depression symptoms can bring up feelings of hopelessness, feelings of being a burden on others, and constant restlessness. We then in turn when having these feelings create negative language and negative self-talk when describing ourselves. Saying things like “why am I so lazy?” “I can’t get anything done.”, “I am a disappointment.” Thinking that if we are harder on ourselves that it will somehow motivate us to do better. In reality, negative messages that we communicate to ourselves are actually more harmful then helpful in the long run. What can be done then? How can one change the narrative they tell themselves? Keep reading to find out more.  

1.)       Change how you respond your self-critical voice:

When our critical voice comes in that’s when we can start spiraling and leaning into what it tells us. Our critical voice has the purpose to protect us, but sometimes it is unwarranted and can be more harmful in our lives then helpful. We may have little control over our critical voice and when it comes in, but we can control how much attention we put towards it. Notice what it is telling you and where it may come from. Is this voice a message you heard growing up? Is this critical voice communicating a fear that you have instead of a fact? Noticing and identifying is the first step into being able to change the way you respond to it and in turn respond to yourself. When you recognize you are falling into the critical pattern you can change the narrative with a different statement like this for example:

-       “I recognize that this critical message I am receiving is coming from feeling left out growing up. I feel empathy for myself for feeling these feelings and recognize that I don’t need to attribute this feeling to this same situation that I am in right now. My relationships then are not the same as they were then. I am worthy of love and receive it from others.”

2.)       It is expected and okay to mess up

When we have anxiety and depression and also lacking self-compassion it can make it feel like we can’t mess up, say the wrong thing, or even need to perfect projects and assignments given to us. The truth of the matter is in life we will all mess up and fail at some point because it is the most human thing to do! The important thing to remember is that although we may mess up and fail at times we can learn from those experiences and become a better person due to it. We become more resilient and relatable to others when we have these experiences. The only thing that you have to fear is fear itself. Don’t limit yourself just because you are afraid, facing your fears can give you more compassion for yourself and others in similar situations.

3.)       Get another perspective

Here in Charlotte NC, we are a team of therapists that can help you cultivate more self-compassion. You can start therapy with us to work on gaining more self-confidence and compassion. We have the skills to help you to process anxiety and depression that you may be experiencing. We take a nonjudgmental approach to understand your experiences. Sometimes the best thing to hear is that you are not alone in your experiences. We are here to normalize your experiences and help you to work through them. Reach out to us to start your journey towards having more compassion.

Click here for more information on Depression Therapy.