Building on Your Relationship and Strengthening Bonds When Trust Has Been Broken
Whether you have been married for a while or are still dating, when in a relationship and learning that trust has been broken in any form it can be hard to acknowledge that and move on from it. This article will focus on ways in which you can start to build up trust again in the relationship. It will include some tips to strengthen bonds and how to give and receive forgiveness in your relationship.
1.) When in an argument with each other try to listen and be open and curious rather then immediately putting up defenses.
Once trust is broken within the relationship whether it be a small lie or an infidelity it can be hard to be open and curious to hear what the person that hurt you has to say. If you are open and willing to continue with the relationship, in order to build trust again listening on both sides of the relationship is a must. Arguing is also healthy to engage in with your partner if it is done effectively. Effective arguing means having a balanced exchange. One person listens when the other person expresses how they feel without putting up defenses. Defensive arguing means using sentences like “This is all your fault.” Instead start with using “I” statements. This can look like “I felt like I wasn’t being heard when we talked about waiting to get an animal and then you went ahead and got one.” This puts a little less of the blame on them and more about your experience to the situation.
2.) Take Responsibility.
If you were the one in the relationship to cheat or lie take responsibility for the action made. Reframe from trying to place blame on anyone else. It might feel tempting to have an explanation as to why you did what you had done. If the explanation harms the relationship rather then helping to come up with resolution it may be best to leave that unsaid. Having excuses like “I just didn’t feel loved enough” or “I thought you were cheating on me and that’s why I cheated.” Won’t help the situation. Instead be honest that you made the mistake and that you are committed to the relationship and rebuilding trust.
3.) Start creating positive experiences together.
Once things have been talked through, where do you go from there? A good place to start is by doing activities together that you both enjoy. This way you are building positive memories and experiences not related to the problems of the relationship. This could include going on a vacation somewhere, celebrating an anniversary together, or even trying a new hobby together. This is an opportunity for the focus to not be on the problem that you have been battling but instead to start a new beginning together. You have to start on a new page in a positive way to move forward within your relationship.
4.) Seek Couples Counseling
It would also be a good opportunity to get more insight through couples counseling in Charlotte, NC on how to continue to make repairs in your relationship. Here at Inward Counseling, we see individuals and couples who struggle with infidelity issues. We would be happy if you were to reach out to us so that we can see if we may be a good fit and can help you.
Here is also a quote to consider as you are working on the journey of rebuilding trust in your relationship.
“Trust starts with truth and ends with truth.” – Santosh Kalwar