How Your Early Attachments Impact Your Experience with God

As we grow up, we are all influenced by the people around us. Starting with our immediate families, their behaviors, emotions, and actions have an impact on us. It is, after all, how we learn. We learn and model our own lives, from an early age, from those around us. Even when we are trying to be the exact opposite of who they were, their presence still affected us.

Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, our early attachments can dictate so much of our lives. And, this is no different than our experience with God.

Maybe he was at the forefront of your life growing up. Church every Sunday, vacation bible school in the summer, late-night Christmas mass. Or maybe there really wasn't a spot reserved for him at the family table. Perhaps religion and God were just not something that was discussed or made important by your family. On the opposite side of the spectrum, you may have grown up in an agnostic or atheist family.

We learn about the world around us through our early attachments. So, how do these early childhood experiences impact the relationship and experience you have with God?

Negative Experiences Growing Up Can Equal A Negative View of God

Did you grow up in a house with a lot of conflict? Did you witness abuse between family members? Either emotional or physical?

If there were any negative experiences growing up, this likely helped shape a negative experience or relationship with God. You may have constantly questioned why your family had to go through the things they did. Why others seemed to have so much and great lives, yet yours felt like a struggle even from the beginning.

When you are raised in a home that feels like a rollercoaster ride, you may have grown up to either stop believing in God altogether or questioning him at every turn. While it is true there can be no faith, without doubt, you seem to constantly battle your emotions trying to decide for yourself. As such, this has probably caused you to have little to no relationship with God, even though you do want one.

What Was Your Relationship With Your Parents?

The first relationships we have in our lives are with our parents.

Were they loving and attentive? Nurturing to you and your siblings? Did you feel supported by them growing up?

Alternatively, did they have a hands-off approach to parenting? Does it seem as if anything you did really didn't impact them one way or another? Did you feel neglected?

Often, the relationship that we have with our parents is typically the way we model our relationship with God. If we had secure and safe attachments to parents, you more than likely feel the same way towards God. Just as your parents were your caregivers growing up, you probably see God as another caregiver in your life. Someone that you know you can turn to, no matter how hard things may be.

Alternatively, if your relationship with your parents wasn't the best, it may influence how you see God. Because of the experiences you had growing up, you may question whether or not He really is there. If  He was, how could He possibly let one person go through so much? Your trust in Him may feel broken at its core, and you aren't sure how to fix it.

Christian Counseling Can Help You Work  Through The Past For A Better Future

No matter what your childhood experience, there is hope that you can have a better relationship with God. The feelings and doubts that you are going through are valid. There is nothing to be ashamed of when you question or doubt the impact that God can have on your life. If you are ready to explore your past to have a better spiritual experience, reach out to us for Christian counseling.