Disconnection and Loneliness in Relationships and Tips to Help
Do you feel like you and your partner are in a stage in your relationship where things are feeling more stagnant? The effort that was put into your relationship in the beginning seems to be fading out? If so, that article might be beneficial for you and your partner. In addition, if you are feeling this way and think that this article gets you thinking more about your relationship dynamics it could be possible that couples therapy can be another step in the right direction for your relationship. Here are some tips that may be beneficial for your relationship to grow connection and decrease feelings of loneliness.
1.) Quality Time Together
What does your quality time look like together? Some couples that have been together for a while may have some difficulty in answering this question. Couples can get in the habit of being in the same space together but without necessarily interacting with one another. Being in the same space but not interacting with your partner is not quality time. Quality time looks like doing activities together that foster positive connection and interaction in the relationship. Here are some possible examples of activities that can help with this:
Couples card games that ask questions to get to know your partner on deeper levels.
Interactive activities like escape rooms, whitewater rafting, or hiking to build and grow positive memories together.
Going on a vacation out of the country to a place never been before and exploring together.
All of these examples share in common that you are doing something together to build on your relationship. Disconnection and loneliness happens in relationships that are not continuing to be nurtured and worked on.
2.) Talk about unresolved issues
Another reason why couples feel like there is loneliness or disconnection can be due to unresolved past issues that have built up resentment over time. Not talking about the conflicts or being able to make compromises towards it can create more disconnect. Some issues where a compromise may not be possible should also be explored. Are you and your partner willing to move forward together and accept unresolvable issues? Are you able to support each other and cope with that in being in a relationship with them? All of these are helpful to consider to make positive changes in how you both address each other and issues that you both face. Couples therapy can also be a safe space to process through this.
3.) Build on Trust
There might be some emotional hurts and wounds that have been created or opened up in your relationship. These hurts if not addressed also impact the amount of trust in the relationship. Relationships without trust are bound to also feel disconnected and lonely. Building back trust after hurt can be difficult but not impossible if both individuals in the relationship are willing to be accountable for past hurts and make positive changes towards building trust. Building trust does not happen overnight either and will take time to grow. Everyday efforts towards trying to attune to your partner with their emotions and needs helps to build trust in relationships. Turning towards your partner and their concerns instead of ignoring your partner's cues for connection can be key to building back trust in your relationship. Allow space for your partner's feelings without judgment or blame but instead be open and curious to what they are experiencing and how to help.
4.) Increase attempts for intimacy
Be curious about how you are showing affection to your partner. If there is a block in being able to be more intimate, be open and honest about what is going on. Even talking about difficulties with intimacy in a way can increase connection between you and your partner. You can both work as a team towards how to get over roadblocks that are getting in the way of intimacy.
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